my other friend, sara, knew about my plan and a month ago asked if i ever went to california like i had planned...did i blow my first check like i had wanted to? i told her yeah, on my health insurance. the blue cross/blue shield got every last dime....them and the sprint company. blew the entire wad in one shot. it was almost as satisfying as taking a road trip...almost.
bright side: im finally operating in the black...a few hundred dollars in the black but hey....black is black and black is not red so i am no longer an incredibly stressed out individual. owing people money sends me into a panic. if i was buying a house, i'd rather sell my kidney on the black market than ask any bank for a loan to cover the down payment. needless to say i have the most amazing credit score you've ever seen.
so im in the black, but im living like im in the red....just for a few months until im not just a few hundred in the black, but a couple thousand. a few hundred in the black is like being two thousand in the red as far as im concerned. call me anal, but its how i roll.
needless to say, i dont buy anything i dont have to. i dont go out with friends, i dont go shopping, i live off whatever scraps my parents dont eat....even putting gas in my car (a necessary obligation that i should be ok with) hurts me inside. especially since i just found out that my bike tire is leaking air and i cant ride it until i patch the hole...a task i have no idea how to do and probably have to buy something overpriced to complete.
if money was an animated being with cognitive abilities and emotions, i would give it a big fat middle finger and tell it to go to hell...we dont need it...we could go back to the barter system and be just fine.
this is especially true today because i am sitting at a frigidly cold coffee shop, writing and listening to my itunes and was overwhelmed with a mood-altering realization: i am completely sick of my music (exceptions made, obviously, for the dave matthews band, iron and wine, and sara mclachlan). i want to buy the tegan and sara album ive put off buying for a year, everything ever produced by the frames, and the drastic fantastic album by kt tunstall. but nooooo....i only have $400 in the bank and the bills will show up in my mailbox by the end of the month. iwant itunes and i cant have them because the european economy's sole mission in life is to suck the joy out of america's youth by charging them 15 dollars for a crummy baguette and twice as much for a rubbish hostel room in the summer than in january.
it's unethical and i'm thinking of writing a very strongly worded letter to the leader of the european union.
